So let me make this clear - there is a very large difference between thinking and knowing.
Thinking = making educational guesses based on the evidence and your interpretation of a situation
Knowing = having the evidence and knowledge of the situation
I recently cut ties with a friend (former friend now) because he was too clingy and made me feel uncomfortable around him. He constantly hit on me (like random compliments and lots of physical contact - arm around shoulder, sitting closer and closer). And although I communicated my feeling of discomfort, he still ignored it even though he promised to restrain himself. For God's sake, he was planning to kiss me at prom during the slow dance! For me, that's not even creepy - that's just scary. I feel so violated - mentally, physically - that I can't believe I didn't deal with this problem sooner. Oh well. Oh and yes, the former friend is Cory (sorry to the readers who really loved him, but all good things must come to an end, right?)
Today, he questioned me without having any evidence whatsoever. Background story: About half a year ago, I cut ties with my best friend Amber. We had a huge conflict about her boyfriend and from there, I decided to cut ties. I didn't feel like I knew her anymore and in many ways, the whole thing took a huge toll on me. So knowing that Amber and I weren't friends anymore, he said "Not to be rude, but I think I know why you and Amber aren't friends anymore." I said, "Okay then if you know, tell me why." But he was silent. He had no solid answer!
My point? How dare he question things that aren't even within his knowledge? Was he there when I was going through the roughest patch of my friendship with her (which led to an ending)? No. Does he understand the full situation of the problem? Does he understand why I chose to cut ties with her? Did he know how hard it was to make that decision? It was no easy! (my usual readers know this).
He doesn't know anything, and yet, he questions things that are out of his bounds. He does not realize that my old friendship with her is none of his business. I stand by what I told him - if he wants to find out the specifics of the broken friendship, he can ask Amber. He's not my friend so I have no obligation to tell him such a long and dramatic story. It's done and over with.
As for my broken friendship with him, I know I made the right decision. I cut ties for a simple reason - he made me feel uncomfortable in such a way that he crossed the boundaries too far. It was a matter of disrespect. And man, I've had tons of experience with disrespect. (trust me)
And in case any of you are wondering - it's not that I didn't place boundaries to the friendship. It's that he decided to ignore it. And that's fine, but all actions have consequences. It's a fact.
He thinks he knows, but he doesn't. He knows nothing about me and he doesn't have me figured out (even though he believes that).
It's a simple concept, right? If you don't know something or if you're unsure, either shut up or ask.
Thinking = making educational guesses based on the evidence and your interpretation of a situation
Knowing = having the evidence and knowledge of the situation
I recently cut ties with a friend (former friend now) because he was too clingy and made me feel uncomfortable around him. He constantly hit on me (like random compliments and lots of physical contact - arm around shoulder, sitting closer and closer). And although I communicated my feeling of discomfort, he still ignored it even though he promised to restrain himself. For God's sake, he was planning to kiss me at prom during the slow dance! For me, that's not even creepy - that's just scary. I feel so violated - mentally, physically - that I can't believe I didn't deal with this problem sooner. Oh well. Oh and yes, the former friend is Cory (sorry to the readers who really loved him, but all good things must come to an end, right?)
Today, he questioned me without having any evidence whatsoever. Background story: About half a year ago, I cut ties with my best friend Amber. We had a huge conflict about her boyfriend and from there, I decided to cut ties. I didn't feel like I knew her anymore and in many ways, the whole thing took a huge toll on me. So knowing that Amber and I weren't friends anymore, he said "Not to be rude, but I think I know why you and Amber aren't friends anymore." I said, "Okay then if you know, tell me why." But he was silent. He had no solid answer!
My point? How dare he question things that aren't even within his knowledge? Was he there when I was going through the roughest patch of my friendship with her (which led to an ending)? No. Does he understand the full situation of the problem? Does he understand why I chose to cut ties with her? Did he know how hard it was to make that decision? It was no easy! (my usual readers know this).
He doesn't know anything, and yet, he questions things that are out of his bounds. He does not realize that my old friendship with her is none of his business. I stand by what I told him - if he wants to find out the specifics of the broken friendship, he can ask Amber. He's not my friend so I have no obligation to tell him such a long and dramatic story. It's done and over with.
As for my broken friendship with him, I know I made the right decision. I cut ties for a simple reason - he made me feel uncomfortable in such a way that he crossed the boundaries too far. It was a matter of disrespect. And man, I've had tons of experience with disrespect. (trust me)
And in case any of you are wondering - it's not that I didn't place boundaries to the friendship. It's that he decided to ignore it. And that's fine, but all actions have consequences. It's a fact.
He thinks he knows, but he doesn't. He knows nothing about me and he doesn't have me figured out (even though he believes that).
It's a simple concept, right? If you don't know something or if you're unsure, either shut up or ask.