So I was having a conversation today with a friend about the events of this past year - one particular subject came up: my broken friendship with Amber and the situation.
We've all come across a person in our lives that asks for our honest opinions, whether it's for relationship advice, or even how to tell our parents about a bad mark. We think about the situation from our own perspective and share our thoughts on how we would deal with the situation. But often, these people will reject our ideas. They often want us to voice their inner thoughts of, essentially, what they want to hear. Simply put, they want us to agree with them.
But as friends or family, we prefer to take the honest route. We want to give them a dose of reality, especially if they're delusional or blinded (you'd be surprised by how many people are...). We have to at least try to protect them from getting hurt by showing them the possible outcomes of the future, even if they don't want to listen.
If, for example, your friend is stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy, it is best for you (as a good friend) to tell them to deal with the problem. The most important thing is that the person understands there will always be more than one option available. We are not limited to any few choices.
So back to the unhealthy relationship problem - they have options. Your friend can address their partner about the issues in their relationship, they can drop hints occasionally, they can break up with the person or they can ignore it. Of course, there are always more options, but these are the more obvious ones.
As people who give advice to others, we also have to be understanding. Don't be like me - when I was giving advice to Amber, I used an extreme way of convincing her. I essentially wanted her to follow my advice and somewhere along the lines, assumed she would totally accept my advice. Lesson learned, guys. Don't expect the person to take your advice true to heart. Some people just want to go on 5-hour rants with you and then drop the subject. You have to be ready for that.
Nonetheless, it is a sad reality that we have to face the consequences of our (and even others') actions. But it's life, right? If your best friend is experiencing the immense heartbreak of a recent breakup, you have to support them through the bad times (be their shoulder to cry on, you know?)
So the next time you give advice to someone, separate yourself from the person's problems. This is their life, not yours. Even if you're best friends or siblings, remember this - you're an adviser, and nothing more.
Also one more thing - look at the person that is asking you for advice. Really look at them and ask yourself, "do they want the cold hard truth, or do they want me to say what they want to hear?" If you know the person well, you'll immediately know the answer. If you're just mutual friends or not close in bonds, then I would suggest giving general advice that does not place your personal opinion in it.
We've all come across a person in our lives that asks for our honest opinions, whether it's for relationship advice, or even how to tell our parents about a bad mark. We think about the situation from our own perspective and share our thoughts on how we would deal with the situation. But often, these people will reject our ideas. They often want us to voice their inner thoughts of, essentially, what they want to hear. Simply put, they want us to agree with them.
But as friends or family, we prefer to take the honest route. We want to give them a dose of reality, especially if they're delusional or blinded (you'd be surprised by how many people are...). We have to at least try to protect them from getting hurt by showing them the possible outcomes of the future, even if they don't want to listen.
If, for example, your friend is stuck in a relationship that is unhealthy, it is best for you (as a good friend) to tell them to deal with the problem. The most important thing is that the person understands there will always be more than one option available. We are not limited to any few choices.
So back to the unhealthy relationship problem - they have options. Your friend can address their partner about the issues in their relationship, they can drop hints occasionally, they can break up with the person or they can ignore it. Of course, there are always more options, but these are the more obvious ones.
As people who give advice to others, we also have to be understanding. Don't be like me - when I was giving advice to Amber, I used an extreme way of convincing her. I essentially wanted her to follow my advice and somewhere along the lines, assumed she would totally accept my advice. Lesson learned, guys. Don't expect the person to take your advice true to heart. Some people just want to go on 5-hour rants with you and then drop the subject. You have to be ready for that.
Nonetheless, it is a sad reality that we have to face the consequences of our (and even others') actions. But it's life, right? If your best friend is experiencing the immense heartbreak of a recent breakup, you have to support them through the bad times (be their shoulder to cry on, you know?)
So the next time you give advice to someone, separate yourself from the person's problems. This is their life, not yours. Even if you're best friends or siblings, remember this - you're an adviser, and nothing more.
Also one more thing - look at the person that is asking you for advice. Really look at them and ask yourself, "do they want the cold hard truth, or do they want me to say what they want to hear?" If you know the person well, you'll immediately know the answer. If you're just mutual friends or not close in bonds, then I would suggest giving general advice that does not place your personal opinion in it.